Disengaging from the “Noise” of Social Media, While Social Distancing

During the past eight weeks of providing teletherapy in the midst of a global pandemic, we have learned so much about the human experience and human nature from our thoughtful and insightful clients. We have explored themes of resilience in the face of adversity, extreme and unique uncertainty, and grief in all its forms. This week, to encourage grounding and forward momentum, I have asked clients: What might be gained during this time of quiet? How might we benefit from having less “noise” in our lives?

For many, one aspect of life that has become a ubiquitous source of “noise” in recent years is social media and social networking. As countless studies have documented, social media has the potential to impact both our mental and physical health in a myriad of negative ways. For children and adolescents, social media use may lead to problems with cyberbullying and peer pressure, lowered self-esteem, depression, exposure to inappropriate content, and even disrupt circadian rhythms that lead to sleeping and eating difficulties. 

For adults, mindless scrolling through Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat can have far-reaching negative effects on mood, behavior and overall functioning. It is well known that the “compare-and-despair” thinking traps that occur so frequently and all too easily when women are habitually exposed to others’ life “highlight reels” – whether in the form of a desired physical appearance, an expertly decorated home, or Supermom parenting techniques – often contribute to increased levels of depression and anxiety, lowered self-esteem, distorted body image, and increased feelings of loneliness. Heavy social media use has also been linked to maladaptive behaviors such as overspending, overeating, substance abuse and poor sleep hygiene.

In recent weeks, as much of the world has “sheltered in place” and engaged in social distancing, it is almost a wonder that social media channels have continued on. There are no parties, social events or gatherings to document. There is very little business occurring, (of any interest to “influencers,” at any rate) – and there are no exotic or luxurious vacations at which to gawk. There is truly no FOMO to be had. So, why are we still engaging, allowing the “noise” in, and exposing ourselves to the aforementioned risks of social media?  

If you have ever considered whether social media might be causing you more harm than good, now is the perfect time to disengage, or at least lower your engagement with social media. Now is the time to experiment with a behavior change that, in “normal life” may seem quite daunting; though in this time when much of our normal lives are on pause, there is little to lose by changing your relationship with social media – but there may be much to gain. 

As one assesses her willingness and readiness to disengage from social media, there are several common thoughts that arise. Broadly speaking, these thoughts represent a sense of loss for something that may have played a significant role in our life, at times. These thoughts include worries about losing connectedness with friends and acquaintances, missing out on news of events and occasions, lacking a source of news and information, and perhaps less consciously, losing a source of validation, attention and positive reinforcement for our self-esteem. While there may be some degree of validity to each of these worries, fortunately, there are also solutions and work-arounds that come with far fewer costs and many greater benefits to our mental and physical health. Some of these alternative behaviors to our fears of disengagement are described below:

Fears of Disengagement:

1. Loss of social connectedness:

   Reach out to others directly, by phone or video call, email, text. In this time of social isolation, we need true connection to others more than ever – not passive scrolling, emoji replies or “likes”.

2. Loss of information / news:

   Identify 2-3 reliable and trusted (i.e. primary sources) of news that you will check in with regularly – and do it! Accessing primary sources of information increases the accuracy of information you receive, and decreases the potential for “groupthink” and “social conformity” influences of news dissemination

3. Loss of boredom-relieving activity:

   Spend some time brainstorming activities that truly interest you and add value to your life. How could you use your “down time” in a way that feels better, and serves you better in the long-run? Make a list, and start experimenting. Trial and error is OK here!

4. Loss of attention, validation and positive reinforcement from others:

   Take some time to consider what motivates you, what you value in life, and how you want to achieve these things. Make a list or journal about these ideas. Once you stop scrolling through other people’s opinions, you will likely find out more about what motivates you – not them. 

Unquestionably, recent world events have impacted all our lives in many complicated ways. A common refrain in recent weeks has been that “We are all in the same storm, but we are not all in the same boat.” While many are struggling to simply survive this period of life – both physically and emotionally – others are finding some time and space to thrive. If you find yourself noticing there is less “noise” in your life and wondering how you might capitalize on this unique moment of quiet, consider disengaging more from social media. It may be a small change, with big impact on your future.